looking for the good today
I am using a book to write. It gives me structure and I like structure. It has 300 Writing Prompts and here's today's pick: What phrase would you like to hear right now?
Today I would choose the optimistic phrase: Don't worry because everything will work out.
I have been listening and watching reports about the election down south and think, "Please God. Please help sanity reign." I then start to fear for my own dreams and start to sink into overwhelm, "What if things never work out." Or I begin to question my own career choices and feel doubt wrap around my head like a blindfold blacking out my vision. These thoughts scare the shit out of me. Fear, my old friend. Fear, a very constant companion. Fear wants me to stop and give up.
So my thought is, SO WHAT? So what if I'm afraid? So what if I live and act like I don't have anything to worry about even if I am afraid? So what if I say everything will, ultimately, work out? What if I live my life like that is true? It could be delusional but that's okay. I'm happier for it. It's a practice for me. It's an act of worship.
I am so compulsively drawn to the negative even if I know it only makes me miserable. There's a lie in our family - the negative is more true than the positive. My mother liked to say, "I'm the only one who can say this to you" (and it was always a critique). But I would now argue, that if that's true then that would make the opposite just as true. The positive is just as possible, and just as true, as the negative. So this is my journey - to look for the good. To look for what makes me feel good, even if it's difficult (like writing this blog) or makes me feel immensely vulnerable (like writing this blog). I am looking for the good today. I want to see the good no matter who wins in the US. I want to see the potential for making a difference and bringing the good to a very divided world, even if I do it afraid. I vote for the good.